Mark Halperin Calls President Obama A Di*k On Television

Barack Obama: no he didn't!

This has not been a good month for U.S. President Barack Obama. The economy is in the toilet and continues its downward spiral and polls in America indicate any of his rivals in the Republican party would beat him if the presidential election were held today.

Now comes word that journalist Mark Halperin called Obama a "di*k" on live television. Halperin has been suspended from the network indefinitely. If it had been two and a half years ago and Dick Cheney was still in office, this really would not be a problem, because that's his name.

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Rosie Huntington Whiteley Is Receiving Bad Reviews For Transformers

Surprise! Surprise!

Michael Bay, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Shia LaBeouf

Reviewers are slamming Megan Fox's replacement in the "Transformers" film, Victoria Secret model, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. The reviews are not pretty. The main one comes from the Daily Mail in Whiteley's home country of England. However, the review isn't exactly groundbreaking. The Daily Mail stated two days ago that Whiteley is no Winslet, while three months ago, the Judicial Report stated she is no Weisz.

Megan Fox was seen sporting a depressed look on the eve of the Transformers 3 premiere (Photo Credit: RPA)

I could have told director, Michael Bay, this would happen. Oh wait, but I did...last year (Megan Fox Replacement Looks Uncomfortable On Set). I write screenplays and have filmed items as well. One look at Whiteley's expressions in the pre-release stills had me giggling. She had the same expression I do when I see my bank statements (confused and used):

Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley last year, looking confused

In other pre-release stills, Whiteley had an off topic dumb blonde expression, even though she is not.

This still didn't help Whiteley's case either, as she looked like she was in over her head

Then I saw the first trailer a few weeks ago and she looked even more confused (and the giggling continued). No so much at Whiteley, but at Bay for being an unprofessional, horny toad that directs with his penis (there are other directors out there just like him). This is why his films are so superficial and full of explosions - it's because of what's going on in his pants.

Side Bar: Didn't they screen test Whiteley. Where is her screen test? Oh wait, that's right, she showed up in see through underwear and got the job via said method, making her screen test x-rated and not safe for respectable viewing audiences.

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A Majority Of Americans Feel They Were Better Off Before President Obama

Barack Obama

In another stunning wake up call from the populace, polls indicate, Americans overwhelmingly feel there were financially better off 2 and a 1/2 years ago, before Barack Obama took office as President of the United States. Polls also reflect the Republican party are ahead of Obama and his fellow Democrats, in the lead up to the 2012 election.

Let this be a lesson to all current and future heads of state, you cannot spend your way out of debt and into prosperity. You also cannot spend away your global lead through reckless financial decisions, as it will lead to poverty and financial collapse. Moderation is always best. Success it is gained and maintained through hard work, sacrifice and prudence.

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Japanese Scientists Create Edible Doo Doo Steaks

When I think science, I have inspiring thoughts of diseases being cured. Not people making burgers out of poo. However, Japanese scientists have done just that. They've synthesized excrement, making steak out of doo doo. I'm at a loss for words. A "turd burger." Really, now. I've heard of pooh sticks, not poo steaks.

I'm all for recycling, but not like this. I think I'll pass on this one. I would also hate to be on the marketing team trying to come up with the ad plans for it. And to think people are complaining about Ronald McDonald, when this was looming.

Most people have had a few meals in their lifetime and left the table figuratively thinking it tasted like doo-doo. But for the first time, they would not be exaggerating. I don't know how anyone could swallow such a thing, when in the back of their mind, they knew where it came from (the back of their butt). What's for dessert? toilet paper?

Side Bar: On a somewhat related note, did you know it was discovered, Al Qaeda members found out if you eat your poop, you'll die (yes, geniuses, I know). To avoid torture, this became an option for them when Dick Cheney was Vice President and George W. Bush was in charge.

Selena Gomez's Actress Friend Admits To Being In Love With Her Boyfriend Justin Bieber

Uh Oh!

Justin Bieber: so you like the Bieber, huh...

Actress Lucy Hale, 21, is a friend of Disney star, Selena Gomez, 18. This week, Hale admitted having a crush on 17-year-old singer, Justin Bieber, who has been dating Gomez for nearly a year. I knew it! On April 18, 2011, the Judiciary Report wrote regarding Hale, who said a fan of Bieber's mistook her for Gomez, "Tell the truth Lucy. You saw Gomez and jumped her for her phone, because you wanted to call Justin Bieber."

Lucy Hale: Why yes, I do!

This month, Hale gushingly stated of the Bieber in Seventeen magazine, "I loved the Justin Bieber movie! His whole story is fascinating to me. Beforehand, I didn't understand how he got so huge so fast. I knew he was talented and obviously he's adorable. But after seeing the movie, I was crying and singing his songs. You couldn't walk away from that movie without falling in love with him."

Selena Gomez: talk to the hand Hale!

Read that last line, Selena. Lucy is in love with Justin. Don't take that from her - punch her in the face (joking). You know Hale is counting the days until Bieber is legal (age 18). Now that the truth is out, will Gomez wonder if Hale will pursue Bieber. In other news, Gomez said of Bieber this week "He is such a dork!" You better change the word "dork" to "darling" really quickly, with other girls like Hale making their feelings for him known.

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